Obsessories

F*CK OFF MY SLEEP CAT EYE MASK

$ 80.00

Black satin sleep eye mask

Sometimes the most soul cleansing, spiritual thing you can do is to tell someone to f*ck off, and your end-of-day is no joke. We take your beauty sleep very seriously. You should too. You have a lot of sh*t to conquer and being tired just won’t do. Guard your z’s with the fierce prowess of a cat in this playful mask. We love it for dozing on long-haul flights, daytime cat-naps or extensive dream lands. Don’t mess with this pussy, Donald.

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FLAT OUT OF GOOD IDEAS, BIRDIE CARDS

$ 42.00

Naughty but nice 'greeting cards' for rude people

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

Rest easy with these pocket-sized superstars that you can take wherever you go. Designed for the b*tch in you and honoring the rich tradition of the ‘birdie’, these babies always come through in the crunch and allow you to maintain the portrait of a lady. 52 birdie cards – rationed as one per week for the year. Obviously, if you suffer from “I’m permanently surrounded by a*sholesness,” or you, yourself have straight up a*sholitis, then you’ll need to increase your stack. For those “I have no words and my mouth is just gaping open in such a high shrill gasp that I only hear silence” moments… we have two especially considerate cards with boxes you can select. We will call it the ‘f*ck bouquet’. Life made easy. Because we get it, and we love you. You’ll wonder how you ever managed without it. Save the lipstick, and be a lady about it.

#SAVETHELIPSTICK

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HOT STUFF VITAL(ITY) MUG

$ 36.00

Black ceramic printed coffee mug

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

Feel brand-new with every sip of untamed possibility – a rainbow of “no-no’s” designed for a lifetime of daily use. The Vital(ity) Mug makes other mugs look like toys. Wake up like a boss and exercise your mouth with 16 ounces of satisfying truth - the real secret to long lasting health. We know…shocking. Legendary. When you take charge of your morning, you take charge of your life. Take one for each person you know. Heck, hand them out on the street. You can breathe. It’s the real you. And it’s a beautiful thing. They don’t call us BFF for nothing. The last mug you’ll ever need to buy. Wait no more.

#UNTAMEDRISE

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NEVER LEFT BEHIND DUFFLE BAG

$ 89.00

Essential black canvas duffle bag

-EDITOR'S NOTES-

This distinctive duffle bag is your partner in crime whether you’re conquering lunges or just pushing through your day. It not only holds all your essentials, but it speaks on your behalf. Awestruck? Frozen? Just plain sick and tired? Make your voice effortlessly known with this triumphant bag and conquer forth, knowing you’ve made your statement . Dress it up. Dress it down – a crucial ingredient to your day that won’t loaf on the job. You’re in control. It just might make your life richer than ever before. Quantities are limited, so act now.

#LASTWORD

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