"Sh*t is sh*t. We all get it. We all got it. And more is coming, yet we tend to treat it as an inconvenient surprise whenever it arrives.You wouldn't leave the house during menstruation without a pad or tampon, so why would you take on your day expecting only good? Prep the sh*t out of your sh*t with the help of Elegant Profanity (your contemporary warrior paint and new best friend). Have a bit of fun. Be a bit cheeky. But most importantly, honour yourself by wasting no time on the unnecessary bull. We give you permission. Open your full energy to achieving your dreams. Imagine?! We need more of you. The world needs more of you." - @TamaraAshLemon
$ 84.00
Size GuideCozy ivory long sleeved shirt with print down back of neck
Once you put this on, you may never change again. You've been warned. So simple, so supple, so satisfying...your new favourite top is as cozy they come. Structured with a large waistband, long arms and sports shoulders, the design flatters every body. This cozy, glove-soft long-sleeved shirt slips over your fingers like gloves and hugs all the right places on your body. This aged ivory material is kissed with a cascading back-of-neck print to tease the rebellious spirit in you.
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Tamara is 5'6 ½", 120 lbs and wears our size Small. She also wears our Caught ya' Lookin' Cheeky Ruffle Shorts
$ 59.00
Size GuideStreet trendy white unisex youth tee with double-sided print
No more chugging wine in the corner of aisle 3 as your child has an epic meltdown. Now you can proudly do it in the middle of the checkout lane. This peerless, impeccably correct t-shirt, is the first ever virtual parenting assistant, and our newest BFF. Our winning team, offers you a streamlined approach to those red-faced, sponsor-inducing outings. Simply point to ‘little sheeter’ with a knowing glance and mingle with unknown comrades amidst the warzone of that called parenting. But since your kids are, of course, always angels and you, of course, never refer to them in such a manner, you can smile as you present their ‘never sweeter’ emblazoned chest for those family photos. A miracle? We think so. Feel in charge now, like a real adult. It’s more satisfying than you can believe. Spend less money on wine, and more on you.
*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.
Rinad and Mustafa both wear our Youth Size Medium
$ 56.00
Size GuideCute hipster kids white unisex toddler tee with double-sided print
No more chugging wine in the corner of aisle 3 as your child has an epic meltdown. Now you can proudly do it in the middle of the checkout lane. This peerless, impeccably correct t-shirt, is the first ever virtual parenting assistant, and our newest BFF. Our winning team, offers you a streamlined approach to those red-faced, sponsor-inducing outings. Simply point to ‘little sheeter’ with a knowing glance and mingle with unknown comrades amidst the warzone of that called parenting. But since your kids are, of course, always angels and you, of course, never refer to them in such a manner, you can smile as you present their ‘never sweeter’ emblazoned chest for those family photos. A miracle? We think so. Feel in charge now, like a real adult. It’s more satisfying than you can believe. Spend less money on wine, and more on you.
*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.
Elijah is 3 ½ years old, 39 lbs and wears our 2T for a snug style.
$ 39.00
Size GuideTrendy baby boy and baby girl white bodysuit onesie with double-sided print
This 100% baby rib cotton onesie says it all. But if an explanation really is necessary -- they’re fresh out of the oven, they don’t talk back and they love you unconditionally. AND… they’re always awake, which means no sleep for you, and those blowouts…those epic blowouts. The neckband is designed for easy on-and-off. You can even pull it down from head to bum to avoid poo-face or having to cut the thing off entirely. We use a printing method that infuses the ink into the material so there is no scratchiness or extra stimulation for your little one. We got you covered. Wet wipe anyone?
*** Disclaimer - not intended for sleep wear. subtle variations - no garment is exactly alike.
Carter is 4 months old and wears our size 3-6 months.
$ 155.00
Size GuideMale medium-weight ivory vintage burnout tee with alternative swear words
Visually crafted to keep those love handles in check, because who wants to say ‘no’ to beer and pizza? This vintage glove-soft shirt, gives you a clear advantage in aesthetics and arguments . It’s no secret that you think we’re always naggin’. Keep your feet up and mouth full and just point to the expression you wish to communicate as we pull up next to you. Because, you know, the foundation of any relationship is solid communication. ;)
*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.
Stefan is 5'10", 185 lbs and wears our male size Medium.
$ 78.00
Size GuideCurve hugging black cotton tank dress
We’re blissed-out on this curve-hugging tank dress. Tie it in a knot over yoga pants. Tuck it into black slacks with a blazer. Strut it under a leather skirt with ankle boots. Pull a tutu over top with a slap of red lipstick and strappy heels. Wear it with bare feet —toes tucked into the sand, where they rightfully belong. Or, on your coffee/food-truck break with flip-flops or snuggled under a blanket in the evening, chowing to Netflix. This is it ladies, you’ve just seen the future - your one-and-only wardrobe update. So simple and so true. So deserved.
*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.
Tamara is 5'6 ½", 120 lbs and wears our size Small.
$ 68.00
Size GuideFitted black long racer back tank
Whether you’re exercising, wearing exercise clothes to pretend you exercise, or just flattering your figure with this formfitting longer body silhouette, we got you. It's black, it’s soft, it breathes, it hugs… and it swears…without swearing…well, kind of… How is this not in your wardrobe basics already?! oh, yeah. Because it’s not basic and because we’ve been hiding your entire life. Don’t worry. Not anymore. We’re at your service, wild one. We’re changing the rules because you deserve better. Every day. And life isn’t waiting for no one and no thang. This is your time.
*** Disclaimer: Lace shown in images is from the model's undergarment and is not included with this purchase. No garment is exactly alike.
Tamara is 5'6 ½", 120 lbs and wears our size Small.
$ 135.00
Size GuideStreet-smart silhouetted printed black tee
This formfitting, silhouette tee preaches. We believe that life is complicatedly simple, and simply complicated. And that shi(f)t just ‘happens’. Here, it is a bit more complicated, but that’s where the music comes in. Rest easy. You got this. Now, get this. Team this new ‘go-to’ with everything from weekend denim to office tailoring.
*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.
Tamara is 5'6 ½", 120 lbs and wears our size Medium for a loose fit.
$ 135.00
Size GuideFormfitting printed black tee
This formfitting, silhouette tee preaches. We believe that life is complicatedly simple, and simply complicated. And that shi(f)t just ‘happens’. No well-edited wardrobe is complete without it. Wear yours with everything from tailoring to jeans. Don’t miss out.
*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.
Tamara is 5'6 ½", 120 lbs and wears our size Medium for a loose fit. She also wears our Caught ya' Lookin' Cheeky Ruffle Shorts.
$ 155.00
Size GuidePrinted urban chic ivory washed slub tee
The original splat tee takes no prisoners. This mad-hat design arms you to take on anything. Use it as full expression, day therapy or for instant reference mid-argument. You can have it out with your partner, friend or adversary while remaining G-rated and completely unannounced. In the cinema, mid-meeting, at the dinner table, in the Starbucks line… just point here, there, over there, down there. If you’re finished, but they’re not, no worries, just wave your hips and let your final word be the say with the complimentary ‘tail’ expression on the rear of this undeniable top. It will always come through in the crunch. For, you.
*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.
Tamara is 5'6 ½", 120 lbs and wears our size Small.
$ 145.00
Size GuideUrban chic ivory tee with alternative swear words
This update to the boxy tee doesn’t just make for a flattering and flowing look, but for an impenetrably seamless day. This tastefully understated waterfall of undercover profanity guides you through those “special” times and with those “special” people in your life. Twice as soft as conventional cotton, this relaxed fit will meet every challenge. For those ‘double-down’ days, a double dose of elegant profanity literally has your back - cascading from the nape of your neck, down your spine - a tonic that will leave others spinning as you conquer forth. Now you can leave those headaches behind.
*** Disclaimer - subtle variations. no garment is exactly alike.
Tamara is 5'6 ½", 120 lbs and wears our size Small.
$ 92.00
Size GuideBlack cotton booty shorts
We’re totally obsessed. Perfectly proportioned - bewitching, yet assertive; these versatile shorts have just the right amount of cheek. Their feather-weight body allows for compact, on-the-go, styling. Take them wherever you dare. Fold them in your back pocket for an outfit change. Layer under a caftan. Hug your body all night (or day) long in their soft allure. Your spirit will go “ahhh”. Cheek ya’ later. Pyjama party 7 sharp.
Tamara is 5'6 ½", 120 lbs and wears our size Small.
$ 120.00
Size GuideBest handmade shoes - Women's pearly cream ballet slipper with pom-pom
Since women just shattered the glass ceiling, we figured it was time to shatter the next big thing - oppressive office attire. Boss with these ‘soft stilettos’ from home or kicked on top of your desk– in a class by itself, just like you. These individually handcrafted slippers are for women who can have whatever they want. Win admiring glances while making breakthroughs. Wrap your feet in a long slow kiss whenever you need a lift. They deserve it. You deserve it. Bye bye standard. Hello you. There’s just one conclusion. Get it, Guuuuurrrrl. Grab the latest leader to your key office updates before they run out!
*** Disclaimer - Intended for use indoors.
$ 120.00
Size GuideBest handmade shoes - Women's knitted blue ballet slipper with grey pom-pom
Since women just shattered the glass ceiling, we figured it was time to shatter the next big thing - oppressive office attire. Boss with these ‘soft stilettos’ from home or kicked on top of your desk– in a class by itself, just like you. These individually handcrafted slippers are for women who can have whatever they want. Win admiring glances while making breakthroughs. Wrap your feet in a long slow kiss whenever you need a lift. They deserve it. You deserve it. Bye-bye standard. Hello you. There’s just one conclusion. Get it, Guuuuurrrrl. Grab the latest leader to your key office updates before they run out!
*** Disclaimer - Intended for use indoors.
$ 89.00
Size GuideEssential black canvas duffle bag
This distinctive duffle bag is your partner in crime whether you’re conquering lunges or just pushing through your day. It not only holds all your essentials, but it speaks on your behalf. Awestruck? Frozen? Just plain sick and tired? Make your voice effortlessly known with this triumphant bag and conquer forth, knowing you’ve made your statement . Dress it up. Dress it down – a crucial ingredient to your day that won’t loaf on the job. You’re in control. It just might make your life richer than ever before. Quantities are limited, so act now.
$ 36.00
Size GuideBlack ceramic printed coffee mug
Feel brand-new with every sip of untamed possibility – a rainbow of “no-no’s” designed for a lifetime of daily use. The Vital(ity) Mug makes other mugs look like toys. Wake up like a boss and exercise your mouth with 16 ounces of satisfying truth - the real secret to long lasting health. We know…shocking. Legendary. When you take charge of your morning, you take charge of your life. Take one for each person you know. Heck, hand them out on the street. You can breathe. It’s the real you. And it’s a beautiful thing. They don’t call us BFF for nothing. The last mug you’ll ever need to buy. Wait no more.
$ 42.00
Size GuideNaughty but nice 'greeting cards' for rude people
Rest easy with these pocket-sized superstars that you can take wherever you go. Designed for the b*tch in you and honoring the rich tradition of the ‘birdie’, these babies always come through in the crunch and allow you to maintain the portrait of a lady. 52 birdie cards – rationed as one per week for the year. Obviously, if you suffer from “I’m permanently surrounded by a*sholesness,” or you, yourself have straight up a*sholitis, then you’ll need to increase your stack. For those “I have no words and my mouth is just gaping open in such a high shrill gasp that I only hear silence” moments… we have two especially considerate cards with boxes you can select. We will call it the ‘f*ck bouquet’. Life made easy. Because we get it, and we love you. You’ll wonder how you ever managed without it. Save the lipstick, and be a lady about it.
$ 245.00
Size GuideLong vintage lace printed silk scarf in black
There’s simply no substitute for swearing, and for that matter, swearing in French. It just sounds better. It is better. Everything in your life is better. Be your own icon in this light-weight print of profanity-splattered vintage lace, spun from silk-habotai for a luxuriously soft feel - your endless source of relief and companionship. Release your frustrations and transcend the ‘goody’ in you. Discover the unexpected thrill of an unmasked existence. Some hard-won wisdom? Expression now, ends unsightly f*ck-ups later. Your best self starts here. Its indispensable. You, are indispensable.
$ 245.00
Size GuideLong vintage lace printed silk scarf in silver
There’s simply no substitute for swearing, and for that matter, swearing in French. It just sounds better. It is better. Everything in your life is better. Be your own icon in this light-weight print of profanity-splattered vintage lace, spun from silk-chiffon for a luxuriously soft feel -- your endless source of relief and companionship. Release your frustrations and transcend the ‘goody’ in you. Discover the unexpected thrill of an unmasked existence. Some hard-won wisdom? Expression now, ends unsightly f*ck-ups later. Your best self starts here. Its indispensable. You, are indispensable.
$ 395.00
Size GuideContemporary printed square silk scarf
This contemporary, lustrous silk print is a lavish feast of hidden yet unrestrained profanity, meticulously handcrafted to wake up the bad*ss in you. Dirty pink “F’s” pepper the classically elegant polk-a-dots with slashings of splattered paint - a marriage of beauty and beast in their most powerful forms. Drape, wrap, accent…your desire is its pleasure. Turn fear into confidence. Be seen. Be noticed. Create more time in your schedule for the things that matter.
$ 80.00
Size GuideBlack satin sleep eye mask
Sometimes the most soul cleansing, spiritual thing you can do is to tell someone to f*ck off, and your end-of-day is no joke. We take your beauty sleep very seriously. You should too. You have a lot of sh*t to conquer and being tired just won’t do. Guard your z’s with the fierce prowess of a cat in this playful mask. We love it for dozing on long-haul flights, daytime cat-naps or extensive dream lands. Don’t mess with this pussy, Donald.